Chapter 1
Part of Myla's Story

On the day of her death, Myla brushed her teeth at five. She used a non detergent toothpaste because she had a problem with her ulcers. She rinsed it once with water, then brushed again then spat it out without water to keep the fluoride. It was because last night she dreamt that all her teeth would fall away, and that apple trees would spurt out of her mouth. She had always detested the taste of apples. "Dreams have meaning Milan, when auntie was small, your mama's tooth rotted in her dream, that day our mother died" Myla did not really remember the details of it. Myla had always taken care of her teeth well since then, back when she was 3 years old. It was only yesterday when she tried not sleeping that she forgot to brush her teeth after eating candy. Papa's older brother visited and brought lots of candies and caramelized apples. Mama rarely invited any of her families, auntie told Myla once it was because how expensive the plane was from Managua to Kanto. But it was perhaps the salty air of Managua that caused Myla's mama to have rotten teeth in her dreams and subsequently caused grandpa's remarriage. It was thanks to the rotted teeth, just one, that Mama could meet Papa. And last night, Myla dreamt of all her teeth falling off.

The Bathroom light carved trapezium on the warm orange wooden floor and the blue hallway, Myla closed that and walked down until she found the set of stairs that would lead her down the living room. Taking a few steps she arrived at the mess of last night, many pizza boxes, and the sight of uncle Hide and papa on the sofa. Soft hum of stove burner lazily drifted along with the rhythmic chop from the kitchen behind the turned off tv wall. As the above hallway, this living room, too, was a dark blue hue. It felt to Myla that she was underwater with the solid block of light emanating from their kitchen.

She entered the kitchen and found that mama was making confectionaries, caramels, and melting candies from uncle Hide. On the cutting boards were mushroom, she also made a stew.

"Milan~" Mama greeted her, and put down her knives. "baby! its dangerous, did you sleepwalk? having trouble sleeping?"

"Food?"

Mama turned to see her stove, the bubbling stew, and the chopped potatoes. Then she picked a tray of cooked bacon and gave it to Myla. "Yes baby, food."

Myla then before going to school at seven heard from uncle Hide that the whole family was coming over and that it would be an important night tonight. It would be a party! Such thought occupied her mind even during her way up the mountain for her daily climb and omikuji. She tapped a few claps, then rang the bell then prayed. She got her omikuji yet it was so unecessary to her it seemed because it was the same as yesterday. At noon, during lunch, her tiny hands unfortunately lost control of the eraser and it tumble down the tables. Myla scooted around and toddled as she tried to look for it. She didnt find it, even when the teacher asked her "Milan, what's wrong?" and asked everyone to look for it too. Myla's best friend, Iroha strongly suspected that the boys had played pranks on her. But the boys also looked very hungry, if they were playing a prank on her they had better say it so that they could eat. But nobody admitted it and so they looked for fifteen minutes before the teacher called off the search and bought Myla a new eraser out of her own pockets.

This morning, and the morning yesterday, and also yesterday's yesterday. The omikuji said that "it will outgrow. That the bonsai tree will outgrow the vase and crack it open." But it wont grow, she has no bonsai tree. It was always the same omikuji.

"Milan!" Iroha called Myla as she was walking to the bathdroom. Myla stopped then turned, waited for Iroha and raised her hand in greetings.

"Muu~!" Iroha's twintail bounced, "you shouldn't walk stop in the middle of the hallway like that. Come, lets go, your brother is looking for you"

"Brother?"

"Yes uhm!" Iroha who had started dragging her by the wrist stoped then looked around "Brother uh, brother Kaiko"

"Ah! Brother Kaiko!" to which Iroha nodded

Iroha smiled softly "Did you not get enough sleep?"

Myla has always been a dull child. The whole world around her felt like it was covered in cotton, muffled sound, muffled sensation. Right now, as she walked hand in hand with Iroha, her long time friends. she felt like she could close her eyes and fall asleep and she'd be at home the next day. She and Iroha were 9 years old.

Brother Kaiko greeted them from the cafeteria. The two girls huddled over and made their seat. Kaiko brought them ramen, Iroha liked spicy ramen, atleast one that could land her in the toilet until the classs ended. Myla liked fried shrimps with some tofu and chicken broth. It was from Kaiko that Myla knew that the party was granpa's passing. Grandpa has a ton of money, said Kaiko to Iroha, that his family would be rich by tomorrow. And this might be the last meal they could have together because maybe tomorrow they'll have to move to hollywood. Iroha looked distraught and ordered another Ramen. Kaiko would pay for it. Happily seeing that Kaiko began boasting about yesterday when he and his shrine friends went to abandoned buildings to exorcize ghosts. He was telling them that yesterday there was this unfocused ghost. that you had to separate the body from the soul.

The way he described it was that it looked like seeing double, and to know its exact location they must cross their eyes until the double merged into one and that's where they can admnister the prayers.

"That's so cool!" Iroha had sparkly eyes and admired the boastful Kaiko. Kaiko was firmly in the 13 years old. So he probably was getting the case of chunni. "I really want to go too! can I?"

"N-no its too dangerous! even Milan isnt allowed! right milan!?"

Myla nodded as she continued picking on her tofu.

That evening, Kaiko and Myla went home together. Kaiko was silent except for the occasional lecture. During that afternoon walk they arrived at Kyu-Nikko-Kaido St, there, beside the street at the intersection near Hidaka Rice Store was a house with cream topped roof. The trees there were overgrown, Kaiko stood there and looked at the empty house.

"Milan" he gripped her hands then took a deep breath and looked like he was blushing. "I-I have something I want to show. You should tell me if it fits me, if its cool or uhm, I should ditch it. Its in that house"

Myla, tilted her head, the insects was crying then and the soft blowing wind carried a certain wetness before rain. The clouds coming over from the east, it was too dim to make certain of Kaiko's expression, too dim and too light blue, it was also too cold for her. She'd rather go home quickly and eat mama's stew. But the house her brother pointed at seemed empty, windy, and had no light turned on. But he was her brother. So she nodded and the two went in.

The door was unlocked, opened with a creak. Kaiko explained as their feet echoed its way inside that he found this house on his weekend walks, and the door was open. He and his friends used the house as a base, and had even slept over here. It was during one of those sleepover that he found a box underneath a hollow floor tile. He hadn't told anyone what's in that box. Had never planned to, not until today when the sweet girl pointed that smile at him. That intoxicating blush, pink as her hair, Iroha. And so, he wants to tell his little sister, Myla about it. Even if Myla was less developed and a little infantile. It would atleast serve as a base of comparison. Of course, Kaiko does not think this much, but it was through that childish intuition. It was because that he did not think at all that today happened.

He stopped Myla at a room, where he then crouched. He told Myla to find a seat, and he began clawing at a tile. Heaving hic chest he pulled it up and gently laid it back down with a clack. Sure enough there was a box, even in this room illuminated only by the dim blue diffusing light of the half closed window. The clouds had covered the sky.

"Milan," he said sheepishly making small talk as he tried to delay it as much as he can. He also felt that giddiness in his chest, that he has to get rid of "have you ever thought of how we'd be adult soon. We'll have to get a job, maybe move somewhere. I think its really cool. And a little scary don't you think?"

"Scary?"

"Like, i feel like, as soon as we got out of school it was like the... the floor of the pool is erased. And when I think of that, I feel like i'm suffocating, that I have to keep floating. Ah.. I'm sorry, I think this is too confusing haha. I just... I think I will miss today, I will miss the school, and I will miss my friends. I feel like its all going to dissapear"

"Are we going to hollywood?"

Kaiko blinked then laughed "No, no Milan uhm... well maybe. I don't know how grandpa's inheritance is going to affect us. But Papa said we'll go to america for a few years. But that's not what i mean I just..."

he sighed, and after sitting there a while and feeling the cold air seeping through the walls as the rain began to fall. He opened the box. There was a metal sheen to it, and a weight when Kaito's small hands wrapped around the handle. It was a gun.

He held it, then looked at it from every other angle. It was beautiful, and cool. It was very very cool for him. He posed pointing the gun at window as the sound of rain thrummed the structure.

"Does it fit me?" he smiled sheepishly, then put it in his pants. He felt like a cowboy. And Myla looked at it with apprehension and a little surprise. Kaiko took that as a compliment. "I wanna bring this home but, do you think Papa and Mama check our room? should I put it in the attic?"

"Under the bed maybe?"

"Good idea" he said thinking otherwise but still riding the high of finally showing this to someone, his heart was beating hard, even underneath the sheet of raindrops Myla could hear it, or perhaps the pulse was so strong that it causes Kaiko to physically beat as there was a certain rhythm to his movement. "Do you think I could rotate it? you know like cowboy?" he emboldened himself to stand with the bowleg of a cowboy and put his finger on the trigger to hang the gun. He smiled

"Try it!" said Myla excited, she had this huge grin on her face, and an excitement is palpable by how she leaned forward. The two of them often watched these cheap cowbow flicks, it was uncle Hide's favorite films, and Uncle hide often visited.

Having gotten her full attention, he smiled and began rolling.

*Click*

Suddenly, Myla heard nothing but ringing, and the world stopped making sense. There was a flower that bloomed, there was the cold wind that swayed the petals. There was a moo-cow going down the road, and so it goes. And in front of her was a huge insect, buzzing as it got closer, the mandibles clicking over and over, the insect wore clothes. She felt dizzy, the sound of rain bled into incoherence, she could no longer parse the lines on the floor, or the square light going through the window.

It kept buzzing, rising and rising, the coldness of her limbs spread. And she could see in front of her, eyes, close enough to touch, the eyes gushed water, and the nose somewhere relative to it seemed to leak. There was an earhole there too, surrounded by flower petals, it kept moving, a worm was inside that flower, sucking on its nectar. The sound it made was anguish, that much Myla understood.

Myla could hear the sound of stove, the hum of a tv, and the running water. The smell of potato peeled broth with chicken stock and some unwashed vegetables, it was, she remembered, food. Her mother's recipe that she'd made whenever she didnt' sleep. Her mother always hated sleeping at night, always during the day. Myla had hated it back then. Crying every time she was left alone, her brother out at school.

Only during the holidays and weekends was she able to be happy. It was atleast until she entered elementary school, kaiko's junior high was a few meters away from hers. That was why she was happy. That was why she loved going to school. She stared at the wooden sky, she felt like she could close her eyes and fall asleep and she'd be at home the next day. Myla was 9 years old.

It was written: Milan was 9 years old when she died. She always loved looking at the flower beds, at the bees, and hated apples, but she always loved listening to the running water.

On the day she died, the last thing Myla heard was another bloom.